Like every other student,(maybe get rid of s first part before the comma) I have had English classes in school for as long as I can remember, but it wasn’t until college that I heard of active or passive voice. It seems that it is an important aspect in writing and something all writers should pay careful attention to. Voice is defined in William Strunk and E.B. White’s book entitled Elements of Style as, “The attribute of a verb that indicates whether its subject is active (Jane played the guitar) or passive (The guitar was played by Jane).”Introduce these authors and their books, if I were not in the class I wouldn't know who they were or why what they are or why what they are saying is important. A verb in active voice performs the action while the verb in passive voice is acted upon.
In my wiki posting, my rule of active and passive voice read as follows:

In writing, the active voice should be used over passive voice most of the time:

• It is more direct than passive voice.
• It eliminates unnecessary words that are created by using passive voice.

If you can add "by me" or "by him" you know you have passive voice:

• The bank robbers were caught by the police (Passive).
• The police caught the bank robbers (Active).
Both sentences say the same thing, but the active voice gets rid of a few words.

There are times that it is OK to use the passive voice:

• Shoplifters will be prosecuted (Passive).
• In academic or official writing.

Many scholars feel that passive is the only correct voice to use, but they are wrong. There is a time and a place for each voice.

This is my attempt to explain voice in the simplest terms that I could (watch your tense here "this is my attempt" is present, "could" is in past) in less than 150 words, but there is definitely more to active and passive voice. (personally I would leave out the 150 words part) I agree with taking this part out. You should also try to avoid such a personal intro.-AH I do not think the intro is that problematic, it makes it seem relative, I get it.
Aside from using the handy voice check on your computer, there are other ways to check a sentence for voice (I didn't even know this check existed!)(me neither, is it like spell check?).(same here!) One of the easiest ways (to check a sentence for voice) is to look at the sentence and see if it has a form of be, have, or will as an auxiliary verb and a (as?) past participle of the main verb. (maybe reword to 'If the sentence does apply to any of these forms,') If (the sentence contains an auxilliary verb, )it does, the sentence is indeed passive and the author should consider revising, (<- you could end this sentence and start with ->) as most sentences in passive voice can easily be rewritten in the active voice which will require fewer words and make the sentence more direct and dramatic for the reader(sort of a long sentence, not sure about the flow) . According to Joseph M. Williams in Style Toward Clarity and Grace Title should be italicized-AH, “Active sentences encourage us to name the specific agent of an action and avoid a few extra words” (37). Try not to end a paragraph with a quote, continue with a discussion of what this quote means and why it makes sense to place it here. (You should introduce Williams in your opening paragraph as you did with Strunk and White.)
(suggest using the 3 questions from Williams on page 37/38 to help finish explanations here. good points!)
We know that it is correct to use the active voice whenever possible, but (maybe add here 'we should consider when it is') when is it acceptable or appropriate to use the passive voice? There are three questions that a writer should ask themselves when (try 'making a decision'?)deciding which voice to use. Williams states these questions in his book. The first question to ask is whether or not the audience needs to know who the person performing the action is. When the person is unknown or if it is unimportant, passive voice should be used. For example, in the sentence from Simon and Schuster Handbook for Writers by Lynn Quitman Troyka:
The lock was broken sometime after four o’ clock (Troyka 207).
The information about who broke the lock is not known, so using the passive voice is acceptable. (use quotations here?)

The other two questions to ask ( yourself) Can stand alone without adding you! Avoid "you" statements. Replace and re-word these with "one" instead of "you". before choosing a correct voice according to Williams are, “Are we maintaining a logically consistent string of subjects?” and lastly, “If the string of subjects is consistent, is it the right string of subjects?” (Williams 38). In simpler terms, as explained by Troyka, at times, the action in the sentence can be more important than the person doing the action. This tends to be the case when writing about historical events or in academic and official texts. An example of this is:
Passive: Oxygen was discovered in 1774 by Joseph Priestley (Troyka 207).
Active: Joseph Priestley discovered oxygen in 1774 (Troyka 207). (use quotations here?)
In the passive sentence, oxygen is the subject of the sentence while Joseph Priestley is the subject of the active sentence. By choosing one voice over the other, you change the emphasis of the sentence even though the meaning is basically the same. So as you can see, you should not always assume that active voice is the best because there are special circumstances that require a writer to use the passive voice in their writing. (I think you did a great job at explaining how to choose which voice in these last 2 paragraphs!) (active and passive express the subject differently, and oxygen is emphasised in the passive - and Priestley was emphasized in the active. good articulation!)

In conclusion Avoid "In Conclusion", this statement is unfortunately cliche and indicates 5 paragraph essays.-AH, all of the above authors mentioned, Williams, Strunk and White, and Troyka, agree that there is a place for each voice. It is up to the writer to determine which one works best fort he sentence in which they are structuring. If the writer follows the rules for voice, they will easily be able to decide which one works best for their work. Oh! there is a better time and place for" In Conclusion" does not really fit here. My eighth grader said she uses it when she has nothing else better to say. Hmmm? I use it too occasionally but you can find a way to make it work better for you. MM

Works Cited:
Troyka, Lynn Quitman. Simon and Schuster Handbook for Writers. 6th Edition. New Jersey: Pearson Educators, Inc., 2002.
White, E.B and William Strunk. The Elements of Style. 4th Edition. Massachusetts: Allyn & Bacon, 2000.
Williams, Joseph. Style: Toward Clarity and Grace. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1995.