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Sentence Variety Essay (Mahan)
In chapter 8 of Joseph M. Williams’ Style: Toward Clarity and Grace, Williams’ discusses sentence length. In the beginning paragraph of the chapter, Williams claims “if you never write sentences longer than twenty words, you’ll be like a pianist who uses only the middle octave: you can carry the tune, but without much variety or range” (p. 135). Perfect quote for your topic Although Williams was clearly addressing the ability to write long, meaningful sentences, I think it’s also important to keep in mind William Strunk’s famous rule of “omitting needless words.” A combination of these two approaches to writing sentences should make any piece of writing interesting.
When it came (This sentence is confusing. Maybe "when it came time for me..." - RS) to me coming up with my own original “style rule,” I knew the moment I finished reading Williams’ book what my rule would be based upon—sentences. They can be tricky, but at the same time interesting and also specific to their writer.
I think a lot of writers become so focused on the ideas they’re writing that they don’t take the time to spice up the way they choose to write these ideas. I’ve found that most writers generally stick to a lot of simple sentences or a lot of compound sentences. Somewhere in the mix, people tend to leave out Mr. Complex Sentence. It’s easy to forget what all the different pieces of the grammar puzzle we were taught in grade school are. But even if we can’t define a gerund, independent clause, or what past participle is, sentences are pretty simple to command, once they are conquered. Good point--easy to master and importance of knowing language
I know at times I get lost in my own sentences (and trust me, I know this essay needs some sentence work and revision—I’m not trying to put myself on a pedestal of any kind). I don't know if you plan on leaving this in but I would I think if the writer takes the time to write all their ideas out into a sensible order (i.e. a first draft), then goes back to those ideas for a re-write, they should not only focus on their ideas being in order, but also their sentences containing diversity so that the reader doesn’t lose interest in what it is they’re trying to convey.
Sometimes a few words are all one needs to sum up their ideas and get their point across. But isn’t it more fascinating to mix things up? Add commas, (parentheses), colons, semicolons—dashes—anything! Exclamation points! Question marks? [Brackets]. We have these various tools in grammar, conveniently located on our keyboards for a reason! I think we take for granted the power of such small marks as a comma, semicolon, colon, or even a period.
Think about just how much of a difference my essay would be if I didnt include any punctuation at all and if I didnt separate my ideas with something like a comma or a semicolon or even if I didnt end it with a period but instead chose to end it with this) and then if I keep going I could just go on and on and on forever about who cares because it gets boring after awhile and the reader loses interest! I realize that sometimes a writer might need all 27 words of a long and windy sentence to get their point across and that there may not be a shorter, sweeter way to express what they mean; but at the same time some variety in paragraph sentence structure can’t hurt.
I think using sentence variety within each paragraph of a writer’s piece makes that piece easier to follow. Just like the way we indent 1” from the top, bottom, left side, and right side of a piece of paper when writing, the way we separate “quotes” from ordinary text, the use of bold, italic, or underlined fonts, I think using a variety of sentences can not only be an easier way for the reader to stay focused on the writing, but can also be a challenge for the writer to overcome and grow from. I definitely think it is an acquired skill to be able to construct a piece of writing that both includes a variety of sentences (structurally) and clearly conveys an idea. I also think this rule I have constructed coincides with all the numerous others I have read and been taught throughout my years in high school and college, allowing for a more clear, concise, structured piece of writing.
This is a good start, but I feel that you can express a little more. Giving more examples from the different readings may help.
When it came (This sentence is confusing. Maybe "when it came time for me..." - RS) to me coming up with my own original “style rule,” I knew the moment I finished reading Williams’ book what my rule would be based upon—sentences. They can be tricky, but at the same time interesting and also specific to their writer.
I think a lot of writers become so focused on the ideas they’re writing that they don’t take the time to spice up the way they choose to write these ideas. I’ve found that most writers generally stick to a lot of simple sentences or a lot of compound sentences. Somewhere in the mix, people tend to leave out Mr. Complex Sentence. It’s easy to forget what all the different pieces of the grammar puzzle we were taught in grade school are. But even if we can’t define a gerund, independent clause, or what past participle is, sentences are pretty simple to command, once they are conquered. Good point--easy to master and importance of knowing language
I know at times I get lost in my own sentences (and trust me, I know this essay needs some sentence work and revision—I’m not trying to put myself on a pedestal of any kind). I don't know if you plan on leaving this in but I would I think if the writer takes the time to write all their ideas out into a sensible order (i.e. a first draft), then goes back to those ideas for a re-write, they should not only focus on their ideas being in order, but also their sentences containing diversity so that the reader doesn’t lose interest in what it is they’re trying to convey.
Sometimes a few words are all one needs to sum up their ideas and get their point across. But isn’t it more fascinating to mix things up? Add commas, (parentheses), colons, semicolons—dashes—anything! Exclamation points! Question marks? [Brackets]. We have these various tools in grammar, conveniently located on our keyboards for a reason! I think we take for granted the power of such small marks as a comma, semicolon, colon, or even a period.
Think about just how much of a difference my essay would be if I didnt include any punctuation at all and if I didnt separate my ideas with something like a comma or a semicolon or even if I didnt end it with a period but instead chose to end it with this) and then if I keep going I could just go on and on and on forever about who cares because it gets boring after awhile and the reader loses interest! I realize that sometimes a writer might need all 27 words of a long and windy sentence to get their point across and that there may not be a shorter, sweeter way to express what they mean; but at the same time some variety in paragraph sentence structure can’t hurt.
I think using sentence variety within each paragraph of a writer’s piece makes that piece easier to follow. Just like the way we indent 1” from the top, bottom, left side, and right side of a piece of paper when writing, the way we separate “quotes” from ordinary text, the use of bold, italic, or underlined fonts, I think using a variety of sentences can not only be an easier way for the reader to stay focused on the writing, but can also be a challenge for the writer to overcome and grow from. I definitely think it is an acquired skill to be able to construct a piece of writing that both includes a variety of sentences (structurally) and clearly conveys an idea. I also think this rule I have constructed coincides with all the numerous others I have read and been taught throughout my years in high school and college, allowing for a more clear, concise, structured piece of writing.
This is a good start, but I feel that you can express a little more. Giving more examples from the different readings may help.
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| Started By | Thread Subject | Replies | Last Post | ||
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| sskodins | Paper | 0 | Feb 18 2009, 7:44 PM EST by sskodins | ||
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Thread started: Feb 18 2009, 7:44 PM EST
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My comments are in the green..
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| gordonwykes | Fun use of language with information to match | 0 | Feb 18 2009, 4:34 PM EST by gordonwykes | ||
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Thread started: Feb 18 2009, 4:34 PM EST
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You have an excellent essay working here--one of the best I've read. I enjoy about half way through when you get creative with language as you are talking about getting creative with language. Put in paragraphs and maybe include a few more quotes and you will have a great finished product.
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| RySieg | Topic sentence? | 0 | Feb 18 2009, 12:49 PM EST by RySieg | ||
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Thread started: Feb 18 2009, 12:49 PM EST
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I had trouble reading the essay without it being formatted, so I might have missed your topic sentence. You should have one that clearly states your rule, early on in your paper. I left one idea in orange. I like all of your ideas, but you have a lot on. Again, I think it will be a lot easier understand once formatted.
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