Stacie Skodinski's Style EssayThis is a featured page

This is a rough draft that I have started and I was hoping that I could get some good feeback because I seem to be stuck with what I have right now. Thanks!
Stacie Skodinski ENG 328: Style Rules Project 2/16/2009

For my Style Rules Project I decided to write about the important usage of commas. I wanted to make a rule about this topic because I feel that commas are very important in our grammatical language, but you might consider breaking this sentence into too and starting the second half "Yet, despite the undoubted importance of the comma, many people growing up are taught different or incorrect usage of commas. For this specific project I couldn’t go over all of the different uses of commas, but I wanted to cover an off topic that could still be useful for many writers. I took the idea of this rule from Strunk & White’s I would use the name of the book here Elements of Style instead of rule book so the reader is clear where you are getting your information from“rule book.” I took their interpretation and made it into one of my own. The rule that I decided to make was, “Using comma’s with a single conjunction of three or more terms.” I think you should explain your rule a little bit more here. You could set up your rule as a seperate paragraph and give a quick example so that your reader is 100% certain of what's going on. Especially since you talk about your examples in the next paragraph.

I made sure to give very specific examples of the correct and incorrect ways to use commas in these particular circumstances. By doing this, I feel that I can help writers understand when they are using the correct form and, also, when they want to compare it with their own writing. I demonstrated how by applying commas with separating three terms while having “and” come before the last term. Also, I made an example with separating terms with the use of “or” as well. I emphasized the importance of using comma’s when there can be multiple terms that are over three. This showed how comma’s work to create pauses between each noun throughout the sentence, while not forgetting the correct grammatical form.

For my last point (Personal--but I don't like this phrase, I would change it to finally, we know its your point, we are reading your essay) I wanted to show how to use the correct usage of a comma when being confronted with business firms. This is something that Strunk & White brought up, and I thought would be very useful for people when citing different items on this subject. I provided examples that showed the correct way for using comma’s along with an incorrect way. There is a difference when using comma’s to express business firms and multiple ways to write them, so I wanted to give people the best opportunity to understand what is the correct way is to use the commas. Each example helps to create a better visual for those who are interested in learning more about the correct way to use commas when separating three or more terms. I think it would be helpful to show in this paper some of the example you are talking about. I was confused when I first read this paragraph but after I went a looked at your rule in made much more sense. It would just be a smoother reading process if you included examples of your examples right here in the essay.

This rule could go along with William’s reference to Chapter 9 on Elegance. Many times throughout the Elegance chapter he talks about the importance of rhythm and its emphasis throughout a sentence. By using commas in the correct way writers can create a more flowing paper without allowing for choppy or misunderstood sentences. As William’s stated in his beginning paragraph during Chapter 9, “...I can’t tell you how to be graceful and elegant in the same way I can tell you how to be clear and direct. What I can do is describe a few of the devices that some graceful writers use” (153).

As for Chapter 10, Usage, in Williams’ book, he might not be very specific about the rules that go along with comma’s, but his overview of how grammar affects our outlook on the English language is a great guide to understanding why being taught grammar correctly important. Many teachers have taught or are teaching their students many grammatical “folklores” as Williams calls it, based on myths about English grammar. He mentions how it is important for everyone to learn the basics while teaching others how to do this as well. If everyone learns the facts about grammar it could help many improve their writing based on the correct English standards.


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gordonwykes
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Rgorney Paper 0 Feb 19 2009, 9:22 PM EST by Rgorney
Thread started: Feb 19 2009, 9:22 PM EST  Watch
Good start! You're paper is very detailed and you offer a lot of explanation of how you came up with your rule and how to employ it.
The only suggestions I have is that your paper would flow easier if you would offer examples of your rule within your paper, and maybe you should offer a little more explanation about White & Williams books.
He really wants us to write to an audience beyond the classroom, assuming they have no knowledge about our topics. (It's something I've got to work on too...)
But those should be easy add-ins with how much you've got already! Great start & good luck!
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gordonwykes Very technical 0 Feb 18 2009, 4:36 PM EST by gordonwykes
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Your essay follows format exactly, and makes some great points, but I would spice it up a little if possible. I think part of what makes this assignment great is that it is open ended and offers the opportunity for accomplished writers to discuss their hardships, triumphs, or frustrations.
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Nicolelynw Good Start 0 Feb 18 2009, 12:33 PM EST by Nicolelynw
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Stacie,
I think this is a great start. The formatting on your paper was all jumbled so I did my best to smooth out where I thought each paragraph was so it would be easier for me to review (sorry if I completely botched your parapgraph structuring). I added a few questions and comments (the blue ones) to help you out. I know how hard it is when you are stuck on a paper and no one will give you helpful feedback to get unstuck. If you have any questions let me know.
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