When in Doubt, Take the Big Word Out-Rough Draft (Gorney)This is a featured page

Keeping Language Simple
When writing it is common for people to try and dress up their papers by using large and fancy words in order to make their works, as well as themselves, (I would consider shortening and taking out as well as, but not totally necessary) appear to be more educated. So true! In certain circumstances, this tactic may work to the benefit of the writer, but for the most part it only allows for the writer to come off as pretentious and haughty. When writing, it is easier for both writers and their audiences (audience--singular should be fine) if the writer uses words that are easily available to them. By using language that is natural and words that are of common expression, Period. Start a new sentence here ("Works..") works are made easier to understand for our readers and less troublesome to explain for writers if they are ever questioned about their writing. (good intro)

The problems that result from writers using unnecessary language is an issue discussed within The Elements of Style by William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White as well as in Style: Toward Clarity and Grace by Joseph M. Williams. Although these style manuals are quite different in nature, they both offer suggestions to help writers avoid writing beyond their means and describe techniques to keep writers from coming off negatively to their readers. Although this rule may seem to be common sense to many, the fact that the problem continues illustrates the fact that further emphasis is needed. In borrowing from the advice of Strunk, White, and Williams my goal is to articulate a rule that goes beyond common sense to help writers from burdening their readers with overly problematic terminology. When in doubt, take the big word out. Great intro paragraphs (smooth transition into your rule with great explanation).
This is a good paragraph, great introduction of the readings. Just one little thing, you say "the fact that" twice in the same sentence - you might want to change that, I don't think you really need the second one.

Through our discussion as a class, it became obvious that this writing technique is a source of frustration for many readers. Unfortunately, the issue of writing beyond our abilities or those of our readers is often a problem that many writers are unconscious of even doing, because it is so deeply ingrained in our teaching and our individual writing styles. It has proven to be something that many writers cannot keep themselves from doing, even though they may condemn the style themselves.
Good points in here, relates to the whole class. <--Agree.

Within The Elements of Style, Williams offers a brief description of the historical events which have left a lasting impression on how we write today, and further explains how these events attribute to the problems we encounter when it comes to employing simple words compared to ones we may deem to be more eloquent. One such event Williams describes in the Norman Conquest, which led us to acquire a vocabulary drastically different from the Anglo-Saxon tradition and introduced us to the romance languages. With this development, Williams states that, "the foundations were laid for a two-tiered vocabulary: one consisting of words common to daily life, the other of words having more special application" (Williams 3). Williams concludes by stating, "and of course once we learned these words, who among us can resist using them when we want to sound learned or authoritative" (Williams 5). (try not to end a paragraph with a quote, add your interpretation or what this shows...even though it may be clear to you)

There has been a long literary history of writers trying to make their works sound better by using words their writing could have succeeded without. Williams points out that this problem has been around long before the middle of the 16th century, but it was during this time that "many English writers became so enamored with an erudite vocabulary that they began to deliberately lard their prose with exotic Latinisms, a kind of writing that came to be known as "inkhorn" style and was mocked as pretentious and incomprehensible by those critics for whom English had become a special passion" (Williams 5). But despite the years that have passed and the call for writers to deviate from using such methods, Williams notes that "this impulse toward an elevated diction has proved quite durable" (Williams 5).

In Style Toward Clarity and Grace Strunk and White also shed light on the issue and explain that, "Young writers often suppose that style is a garnish for the meat of prose, a sauce by which a dull dish is made palatable. Style has no such separate entity; it is nondetachable, unfilterable. The beginner should approach style warily, realizing that it is an expression of self, and should turn resolutely away from all devices that are popularly believed to indicate style--all mannerisms, tricks, adornments. The approach to style is by way of plainness, simplicity, orderliness, sincerity" (S & W 69). Perfect quote. They explain that as writers we should, "write in a way that comes easily and naturally to you, using words and phrases that come readily to hand (S & W 70). I would try to add more of a wrap-up conclusion here.



Works Cited:

White, E.B. and William Strunk. The Elements of Style. New York: Longman, 2000.

Williams, Joseph. Style: Toward Clarity and Grace. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1995

Good start with the paper. You did a great job citing from the different readings which made the paper very strong and precise!


No user avatar
amahan
Latest page update: made by amahan , Feb 20 2009, 4:53 PM EST (about this update About This Update amahan Edited by amahan

38 words added

view changes

- complete history)
Keyword tags: None
More Info: links to this page
Started By Thread Subject Replies Last Post
amahan When in Doubt Take the Big Word Out Essay 0 Feb 20 2009, 4:55 PM EST by amahan
Thread started: Feb 20 2009, 4:55 PM EST  Watch
Overall I really liked your essay..I almost thought about doing this rule myself! I think you made a great connection with the reader and your essay was completely understandable. Great rule!

*My comments are italicized and orange. ; )
Do you find this valuable?    
Keyword tags: None
sskodins Paper 0 Feb 18 2009, 7:45 PM EST by sskodins
Thread started: Feb 18 2009, 7:45 PM EST  Watch
My comments are in the green..
Do you find this valuable?    
Keyword tags: None
gordonwykes Great start! 0 Feb 18 2009, 4:19 PM EST by gordonwykes
Thread started: Feb 18 2009, 4:19 PM EST  Watch
Looks good so far, I look forward to reading the final product. Very well thought out and cited.
Do you find this valuable?    
Keyword tags: None
Showing 3 of 5 threads for this page - view all